Halloween: the real deal

It’s been decades since I took part in a North American Halloween. Goblins, Disney characters, Marvel superheroes, and kids wearing something they claimed was a costume all materialized at my door. They all came to receive candy in exchange for a few words and smiling, or pretending to be scared. It was wonderful!

Last weekend we frequented several trunk-or-treating events held in local churches’ parking lots. The Rising Daughters® had a field day. So many cars with scary themes with cool owners who just handed you candy! Heaven! I didn’t have this experience growing up so I didn’t know what to expect on Halloween, either.

Lady E. had put together her own costume—an aqua blue M&M—to match those of some school friends she was going trick or treating with. Marina was Batgirl (no explanation required); it just fit her taste and most certainly her personality. So they both went off trick or treating and had a fine time. 

Naomi walked around the ‘nabe with friends and their kids in tow. I stayed home and doled out the bonbons.

There is nothing too complicated about it: making kids smile by providing candy is a boon to the soul. It just makes you happy by making THEM happy. It was gratifying to reacquaint myself with another custom I grew up with, but haven’t experienced as an adult, in quite some time.

We lit up the house with bats, carved the pumpkins. I served the neighborhood trick-or-treaters. 

Alas, no ghosts, goblins, zombies or crazies showed up. Maybe next year…?

When Hammy met Aima

What kid doesn’t want a pet? For the last half-year or so Marina asked us for a puppy, and soon initiated her lobbying and PR campaigns to try to make it happen. (I blame YouTube cute-puppy videographers for this.) 

At first, she cajoled, played cutesy, promised spotless good behavior, an end to the Blitzkrieg against her sister, and superior studying habits. When that strategy didn’t work, she  went negative: petulant, with guilt trips galore. I guess she thought this formula might catapult her to becoming a puppy owner.

We thought she might outgrow the puppy thing, as though it was a stage of young girlhood. We spoke of responsibilities like walking, cleaning, and many years of commitment to a pet. We visited a dog shelter so she could see the reality up close. We maintained “no way” message discipline, implemented further diversionary tactics, and refused to budge. Yet M. was undeterred in her mission.

As parents, Naomi and were united in the theory that pets are great and dogs are truly best friends.  Naomi had both dogs and cats as pets when she was a kid. We both believe it is major commitment to keep a dog properly. But we also value our mobility and freedom to frolic more than positives a dog or cat brings to a family.

Still, I began to feel a bit guilty. And the C-word popped into my head.

Compromise.

A word oft explained and promoted during our daughters’ quarrels.

I offered a concession. I had a rat when I was a kid. Why not propose a similar middle-way with my Rising Daughters™? Given our Maginot Line of “No” to owning a dog or cat, Marina recognized this might be her best bet and she was soon on board.

The chain reaction was that Lady E. expertly maneuvered for an approval of her own pet purchase. She ended up buying a fish instead of a hamster (with her own saved allowance). Several trips to local pet stores resulted in the Rising Family® adding two new members: “The Hammer” hamster and Aima the Betta fish. 

Aima means love space, according to Elena.

Sure, the kids had to use their allowance savings to pay for the pets. So our parental inclination to use this a teaching moment, i.e. appreciation and understanding of money and purchase discipline, was one factor. Check. Then there was positive impact of pets on childhood development. Check again.

"Another photo for your silly blog, Dad? Oh....alright...get it over with."

Ultimately it was the right alchemy of compromise and cuteness that brought Hammy and Aima into our lives.

Ed. note: Marina choosing “Hammy” was in no way inspired by my own dim memories of the “Hammy the Hamster” TV show from the early 1980s. Man those creator/narrators were really smokin’ the weed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4SAk2icNs8