Shit is happening again

Crow pic credit: Globe and Mail.com

Every June a new flock of black crows comes to perch in power lines in my neighborhood. They like to also pick open trash bags, foul up the sidewalks, and crap on our cars. At dawn's break their squawks become a scourge on deep sleep. I mostly detest them because it's quite difficult to scrape their guano off the hood of our car. So, yeah, this post is about this year's Campaign Against the Crows.

I've written about this before, but the added twist to this year's tale involves both semantics and serenity. As I went about studying countermeasures for crows' nasty behavior, I found a striking collective noun for them: a "murder" of crows. This term takes the disparaging tack in describing their canny intelligence, social hierarchy within groups, and long association with death. Dark shit, right?

All I know is I often want to murder a few of these pesky scavengers so they'll skip our neighborhood. Yet I've chosen the path of serenity, using non-lethal means to persuade them to leave our 'nabe alone.

One way to do it? Online shopping!

I learned that bright flashes and movement catches a crow's attention and makes them uneasy. So, I purchased light reflecting bird repellent icicles and hung them from the balcony of our house not far from the power lines.

I also bought a plastic blow-up human scarecrow and strategically placed it outside. It looks like a mentally disturbed sex doll. If nothing else, it definitely repels good taste.

Working from home has helped my anti-crow operations. When I hear the telltale "caw-caw-caw" sounds I grab my super soaker water pistol. I've developed anti-crow insurgent techniques that allow me to blast them successfully (but harmlessly) and send the message: "not welcome here."

My neighbors have noticed my persistent application of these tactics and voiced their appreciation. That's because their stuff gets crapped on, too.

It seems to be working. Not a speck of crow crap on my car the past few weeks. 

And it's sort of fun.

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