May 23, 2009

A Tale of Two-Wheeled Woe

This one is just a rant. Because I can.

I’ve been driving motorcycles since I was 20. I love the damn things even though I’m well aware of the dangers involved. For me, the fun-to-drive factor outweighs the risk. As an incurable motorcycle enthusiast, it pains me to reveal my dark secret to you: I am now a shell of a man, a mere fraction of what I once was, for I now drive a scooter.

I reported on the passing of my beloved Kawasaki Eliminator due to a road mishap in a prior post: Since then, I’ve been driving my beautiful wife’s not-so-attractive “Suzuki Let’s II CA1PA” 50 cc scooter to work and around the city. Why no brawny replacement for the Kawi? The global economic meltdown has contracted my economy.

Aligned with this drawdown, I had to “reprioritize” my finances, which meant my wheels shrank from this proud stallion... this overgrown skateboard-with-a-motor.

(The add-on rear hard case trunk was my idea. If I am compelled to ride a moped, I want to ramp up the geek factor to the maximum.)

Is “engine displacement” still a measure of a man?
You bet your sweet ass it is.

Younger men, with their decorative girlfriends or wives riding on the back of their bikes, snicker and point at me now during my commute home in the evening. They rev their engines tauntingly. And as a Dad, erstwhile pillar of society and responsible head of a nuclear family unit, I have to eat it. But my inner thug cries out to go well over the speed limit on twisty roads and hang it out a tad. I think I deserve to rev it up a little--
don’t we all? Also, thinking long-term, when the Rising Daughter has risen and is off on her own life adventure, I want to take Naomi out again for the occasional touring foray into the pavement jungle.

The solution to this sorry state of mobility affairs?
a) wait for the lottery tickets to hit the big one. “Hello BMW salesman!”
b) B-A-I-L-O-U-T
c) your donations are welcome (please send me your contact points through the comments feed) :)

C’mon, folks, let’s extend a leather-gloved helping hand.


Anonymous said...

Chris, looks like you also have a lovely basket on the front of your moped. My sister took hers off when she was 6.


Anonymous said...

Chris, don't feel so bad....some of the coolest actresses I know ride cool scooters!