A Breakfast With Rain Girl

Remember Rain Man? Well, like Dustin Hoffman’s character in the movie, Lady E’s early morning and breakfast routine has become slightly frustrating and quite hilarious. But not at 0800...

I’m no expert on child cognitive development, so I have to play ball with our finicky little foodie and remote control tyrant, to whit:

Elena: Uh oh, nine minutes to eight. Time for Curious George.
Me: Would you like English or Japanese?
Elena: 'Course it's English. English for Curious George. Japanese for Anpanman. [She gives me a withering look like I am the dumbest man on the planet.]

Me: How about breakfast? Are rice balls OK?

Elena: Yes, 1-2, 1-2, 1-2 rice balls.

Me: You mean six, right?

Elena: No, 1-2, 1-2, 1-2.

Me: OK, here are the sprinkles. I’ll go warm up the rice balls.
Elena: Rice balls are supposed to be on the table before the sprinkles.
Me: I have to warm them up first.
Elena: Of course if you bring rice balls after the sprinkles, it'll be too late.
Me: How is that gonna be too late? Just wait and put it on top.
Elena: No, no sprinkles. I'm definitely not gonna have my rice balls after sprinkles.
Me: OK, E-chan, I understand, but choose, please. We've got cod roe, sukiyaki, seaweed/egg and mixed. What kind of sprinkles do you want?
Elena: Rice balls.

Me: I know, but what kind?

Elena: Rice balls.

Elena: Of course you can't have rice balls without sprinkles. I put them on!!

Me: You bet your bum.

Elena: Bet your bum.

Me: OK, we’re all set. Curious George on TV, 1-2, 1-2, 1-2 rice balls, you put on the sprinkles.

Elena: Daddy’s breakfast sucks. [Freak-out ensues.]

- Fin -