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| Crow pic credit: Globe and Mail.com |
June 28, 2022
Shit is happening again
May 29, 2022
Ch- Ch-Changes
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| Graphic credit: Axios |
January through March was another still-working-at-home, highly caffeinated prologue to 2022. Then things changed in April when I moved to a new employer--and it has changed my life. Truth be told, the jury is still out if this new position will work out for me or not. Making the decision to leave my previous company was tough, primarily because they'd been good to me as an employer. I believe I did my part as an employee, too. Deciding to stay or go wasn't easy. I weighed leaving my stable and good job -- that I was grateful to have – for something new, exciting and challenging. Did the salary comparison. Assessed the potential impact on work-life balance and how that could affect the family. And I discussed it at length with my wife because we’re co-captains. In the end, I went for the new gig.
I couldn’t help myself. David Bowie’s timeless song is perfect: "Ch-ch-changes. Turn and face the strange. There's gonna have to be a different man."
"They" say the first few months of any new position is tough because it rips your moorings away. You must seek out new allies in the workplace. You have new processes and goals to contend with. And people expect you to contribute quickly even during the adjustment phase.I am right in the middle of experiencing all that. It’s jarring. Sleep deprivation is real. Self-doubt occasionally rears its ugly head. My weight loss is based on stress, not a new exercise regimen. Gadzooks.
I write all this stuff for posterity more than anything else. It's capturing the moment because the changes that headline this post are real for us.
An interesting corollary is an old friend has become a life coach and we are having very interesting conversations. It’s healthy and helpful to discuss the adjustments due to a new job along with extra challenges. It can’t be all wine and roses when your working life turns upside down. For all that, it’s a good thing to take on new opportunities in life and damn the torpedoes. To not take a new fork in the road to see where it leads has its own perils such as wondering what might have been. Better to dare and do, live out loud regardless of the ultimate outcome. Life’s a real pageant (thank you Michael Stipe), but you have put it all on the table sometimes and see what happens next.
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May 7, 2022
Close call with Covid
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| Courtesy of Asahi News |
The world has endured two years of relentless discussion of Covid* and its profound impact on society. Without question, coronavirus has changed the world. When the impact gets personal, though, it is wince-inducingly personal.
How would you feel if your pre-travel antigen test or mandatory-for-travel PCR test result was “weakly positive”? It's a clinical judgment rife with ambiguity. It means you cannot travel and must immediately self-isolate. The added significance is the medical authorities are not sure of your upper respiratory health status. Asymptomatic refers to folks who are infected by Covid or a variant, as detected by a PCR test, but who never develop any symptoms. Yet “weakly positive” stops everything in its tracks. “Uhh, we’re not sure if you’re really sick, but just in case, you can’t travel or interact with others.” Goodness gracious, Charlie Brown.
This scenario happened to me as I neared the end of a business trip to Europe.
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| Graphic credit: Aida Amer, Axios |
To prepare for my return home I needed to take a PCR test 72 hours before departure to Japan. My test result was the above-mentioned “weakly positive.” I stopped all work and immediately self-isolated in my hotel room. My colleagues on the trip took over my responsibilities.
We’re all aware of the human cost of Covid. At this point, 515 million infections with 6.2 million deaths. My feeling some anxiety about being infected feels petty in comparison to the anguish others have endured. But you can’t deny your feelings. I was marooned in a hotel room in Europe. I got busy doing back-office support for my co-workers, but that eventually ended and I had more free time to fret. Had I been too careless with prevention? Did my actions somehow cause this, or was I unlucky? Will it develop into full-blown Covid? How would I self-care, like monitoring body temperature or buying other medical needs, if I was prohibited from leaving my room? All this stuff revolves in your head. Your room phone, mobile phone, and laptop become your best friends. Yet, a pleasant hotel room is not Alcatraz, right? You suck it up and stick to facts, try not to become too mired in thinking about possibilities.
For roughly three days, my world narrowed down to the hotel room and numerous emails and texts. I will never forget the human element – the kindness of strangers – that made it easier to set aside negative thinking. One co-worker bought me a thermometer, self-testing kits, and extra masks that met local standards. Amid an arduous, high-pressure work program, another co-worker dutifully visited every day to make sure I was doing well and to drop off some morale-raising bread and beer.
Then my European colleagues arranged a new PCR test at a local clinic. That clinic appointment turned into a Marx Brothers slapstick trip. As the minutes ticked by to depart to the clinic by taxi as planned, the hotel front staff’s body language and whispers told me that taxi drivers were refusing to take me to the clinic. Likely because I could be Covid-positive. I was dismayed, but it is their right to choose their passengers. Yet, I felt like a pariah. Sensing my plight, two of the hotel staff heroically commandeered their boss’s personal car without permission and drove me pell-mell to the clinic. We got stopped at a train crossing for several minutes, imperiling my test appointment. No problem. We jumped out of the car and ran across the train tracks with the oncoming train in sight. It being a Latin country, despite my being ten minutes late, the clinic let me take the test without too much fuss. They swabbed my tonsil area and poked in both nostrils, inducing involuntary tears. I was done and outta there in 10 minutes. The good Samaritans felt sorry for my plight and took me on a small tour of the main attractions of their city. Up to that point, all I’d seen was the hotel room and its window views.
It’s worth pointing out these were two complete strangers. Turns out one of them had already endured real Covid twice. Yet they helped me without hesitation, potentially endangering themselves. If I take anything away from this experience, it was these small acts of human kindness by co-workers and strangers. It made a great impression on me.
Precisely one day later, I got the email from the clinic with one magic word: “negative." It immediately released me from these dispiriting three days in limbo. I drank Pellegrino sparkling water in celebration, like I was the winning driver of the Monaco Grand Prix.
Now, all I needed to do was re-arrange my flights and get back to Japan…
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(Ed. Note: Is it me, or are we all so tired of capitalizing COVID, thus giving it full command of our attention, that we’re consciously minimizing it by using only the initial capital “C”?)
April 28, 2022
Marina & candy
Keeping with this musical theme, consider these select lyrics from the aforementioned “I Want Candy”
For me, that captures one aspect of Marina’s personality: she is tough but sweet. The toughness I see during her battles with her sister. There is no détente there. What’s more is her dedication to her basketball club and improving her skills. On top of that, her tenacious and calculated negotiations with her mom and me when she really wants something is a riptide of persuasion. Yet the foundation of her personality is kindness toward others, which is the quality that attracts the coterie of friends that we see her hang out with or besiege her phone with messages.
As my youngest Rising Daughter adds another year of growth and development to her life, I am filled with wonder and delight. May she continue onward following this happiness track in the years to come. More mischief and endless enthusiasm ahoy!
April 17, 2022
Setting forth on her high school journey
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| Credit: Wikipedia |
Ah, high school. Has it ever been easy to be teenager? I have many memories of high school, mostly good, but I cannot imagine what it’s like to be a teenage girl of today. In the years to come, I reckon Lady E. will have to contend with the perennial issues. Worrying about her appearance. How to deal with parents. Finding and making new friends. Academic performance and social status. General fretting about the future. I won’t get into the murky realm of personal relationships with the opposite sex because it’s still a question mark. I refuse to become the stereotypical overprotective-of-his-daughter dad. We have spent years giving her the tools she needs to make her own way, on her own terms. Fingers crossed that we’ve given her the best possible operating system of experiences, morals and mild philosophy. The coming years, and her own life adventures, will add the unique upgrades necessary for her independent life as an adult.
Its themes of jubilant youth and happy rebellion capture the spirit of how I wish Elena’s time in high school will be:
Being true to herself amid relentless peer and other social pressures.
Becoming daring yet kind.
Being unafraid to try new (non-intoxicating) things.
Enjoying the privileges of youth.
Ultimately, she will choose her own heading. But we’ll add course corrections along the way.
And clearly I cannot forget the Ramones:
Well I don't care about history.
Rock, rock, rock'n'roll high school
'Cause that's not where I want to be.
Rock, rock, rock'n'roll high school
I just want to have some kicks….
Rock, rock, rock, rock, rock'n'roll high school
Bon voyage, Lady E., as you embark on a new stage of your life.
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March 30, 2022
Farewell to Exam Hell - Pt. 2
What's the easiest way to describe what “juken” means in English?
When you were living outside Japan what was your image of entrance exams? What did people tell you about it?
That it was hard. I thought it was just gonna be like a little bit of studying for a big test but it wasn't.
In the end, how long did you study for your high school entrance exams?
I don't know, a lot. Maybe 5 months plus cram school classes.
Tell me in your own words about the application process. For example, for the three high schools that you applied to? When did you start studying? How did you decide what schools to apply to?
You can only apply to a limited number of public schools. Usually, people apply to about three schools. My first exam was in early December. I started studying for that first and I did a lot of essays. Then practice interviews for the first school, then after that I started focusing on math. In the winter break I studied for like 10 hours a day. And then when I had regular school days I studied an extra three hours at home, every day.
Did you go to cram school to help you study? How many how many nights a week did you go?
I went about once a week for three or four months starting in the fall. Then almost every day for two weeks before the exam. It helps you focus on what they will test you on.
How did your school teachers help?
My homeroom teacher helped. But teachers in Japan are always super busy. Teachers at my school helped us with some advice and a few study tips. But they focused on their school tests and that kind of stuff. Not so much for the juken exams.
I think your mom helped you, right?
She helped my studying and then she practiced interviews with me. And then she did all the forms. She was a coach and did all the paperwork. She really helped a lot.
Did you ever fight because of the pressure or study workload?
Yes, sometimes. A few bad ones.
Was juken exam hell worth it?
Yeah.
Tell me how you felt before you wrote your first exam.
I remember feeling a bit afraid. I don't really remember details, though, because I was too busy. I had to start preparing for the second exam right after the first. I also recall that the post-exam interview for the first school was really hard and I was nervous.
Was the second exam easier because you could at least understand what you needed to know?
Not really. Each school has its own, different, exam system. The private schools and the public schools have very different systems.
Do you think you will keep in touch with your middle school friends after you go to high school? You will all go to different schools, right?
I hope so, because I want to still get together with my close friends. But I don’t know.
Anything else that comes to mind about your experience? How about repeating the exams in the future as you think about what comes after high school?
I will try to get good grades in high school so I can go to a good uni. And, no, I am not looking forward to studying like this all over again. It will be harder and more stress.
How did you feel when you when you were informed you passed the exam for the school you wanted to get into?
Well, there were 20 people they were going to accept and most were going to get in because of fewer competing applications. I knew my chances were good, so it wasn't super surprising. Still, I worked hard for it and I was VERY happy when I got the notice I was accepted. We watched the announcement online. Plus, I already knew I was accepted by the third school, so I had already had a secure spot. That helped.
Now that you've just finished junior high school, and soon heading into high school, how do you feel?
I'm excited, but not crazy-excited because I'm sad that I must leave junior high school and it was so fun and I loved it so much. So, I'm kind of sad yet excited.
What is one thing about that you know about your high school that is different from junior high?
You get to pick another language to study that's not English or Japanese.
Do you have to wear a school uniform at your high school?
You can wear a uniform if you want to, but you don't have to. You can pierce your ears and color your hair, too. There’s more freedom to choose how you look. In most of the other high schools out there you must wear a uniform.
Congratulations—we are very happy for you and proud of you.
Thanks!
March 29, 2022
Farewell to Exam Hell - Pt. 1
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| Credit: icla.ygu.edu.ac.jp |
Based on their exam results, students are either accepted or rejected from their choice of high school(s), the academic level of which is defined in Japan and establishes if you go to a "good" post-secondary school (or not). Now, imagine taking those incredibly stressful exams – at the age of 14 or 15 – after several months of relentless study and social pressure. Daunting, isn't it? That’s why Japanese adults call it “juken” (school entrance exams) while the students often dub it “exam hell.”
Could you, even unwittingly, decide your life path at 14? At that age, I couldn’t choose whether to eat my carrots or peas first. Or focus long enough to watch an entire episode of the A-Team on TV. Having experienced how grueling exam hell is for them and their families, I empathize with these kids.
That said, this post is not an appraisal of Japanese testing methods nor a comparison with other countries’ approaches. Education systems reflect local cultures and long-established social norms. Exam hell is part of growing up in Japan and unavoidable unless you can pay for international schools. Plus, there are numerous benefits to a Japanese-style education. So, my view has always been (paraphrasing Dale Carnegie) to accept the things you cannot change and cooperate with the inevitable.
Elena took on the high school juken exams and we are proud to say she succeeded. She studied hard, was thwarted by one exam, yet ultimately was accepted into the school she wanted. It took hundreds of hours of study, plenty of anguish, and her going to cram school. More than 70% of Japanese kids go for private tutoring at for-profit cram schools called "juku” during some point of their school life. Often, normal school education is perceived as insufficient for success, especially before the big entrance exams. Parents thus dispatch their kids to a juku after school and on weekends. All this amounts to a significant load of psychological pressure. It’s also a frequent topic among parents fretting about their kid’s future and bitching about the cost. In short, juken often trumps family interaction and social life for months.
Yet Lady E. achieved her goal. I wanted to mark the milestone with this backgrounder on examination hell. The next post will be a Q&A about her thoughts about it all.
















