More on M, Episode 6: Part 1

Nearly two years have passed since our last check-in with the younger Rising Daughter, the mighty M., who recently entered her teens. Teens develop profoundly over the course of two years, and that can be stressful. In this latest Q&A, we delve into the changes in the life of this spirited young lady. For more on her thoughts, trials, and triumphs, read on.

Marina's elementary school graduation ceremony

How have you changed in the last two years?

I want to grow my hair longer. I had it cut short two times; it's short again, which is good when it's hot weather. I like it the way it is, but I also want it longer.
I am now in middle school. That means I had to stop playing basketball for the local team, but I am now on the school's track and field team for distance running. I wanted to try a new thing, and it's fun and healthy.
My school subjects are a lot harder now and I need to study more. Plus, I have some different friends I hang out with at my new school. I also have a new morning routine because the time when I need to leave home for school and classes and stuff is later.

What are your favorite clothes these days?

I like big, oversized clothes. And I also like overalls with longer jeans.
I really want Nike Dunks but they're really expensive. So I think I'm gonna save up for it.

Why do you like the word "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"? How did you learn it?
I like it because it's very long and it's the song from Mary Poppins. No--I just I saw it on TikTok…not TikTok. I just like, I don't know where I saw it first, but I really like that word.

Any new hobbies or sports?
Like I said before, I am doing long runs during track practice. I wanted to try something new. And I like it. But I think I might go back to basketball when I get to high school.

What's your favorite ice cream/or candy?
I like Super Cup Banana Chocolate. And I still like Green Tea flavored ice cream. And then for candy--chocolate. Small chocolates. And gum.

Who is more fun to hang out with, boys or girls?
Really, Dad? This question again? Okay…it's still girls.

What's your average day like?

I study.
[Editor's remark: I think that's bull****.]
OK, it depends on the day. Yesterday, I studied for four hours. And I didn't do anything else because I had a test today.

Okay, so you're studying. If you have big tests, you study a lot, but if you don't have big tests, what is your opinion about studying?
I don't think you really need to study. Why do it? Because most of the stuff you learn at school you're not going to use in the future.

Tell us about the new middle school experience. What have you learned?
The first big tests were really hard. I didn't get good grades because I didn't know how to study the right way. In elementary school, it wasn't that hard. So I studied hard for the recent tests, but the way I studied didn't work well and I got bad grades. Not "bad", but not good, either. It was harder than I expected, and that's the tough thing. One good thing is I joined track, and I got to try something new and it's fun.

What books are you reading lately?
I'm re-reading Geronimo Stilton. But I want to get more new books because that one was boring.

Classic "self-care" pose in springtime

What’s your favorite thing to do these days?

I am into self-care time. And I like to FaceTime with my friends on the Line app.

What would you like to say to your future self when you’re 21?
Learn how to study, then study hard to get into a good college.

In what place are you happiest?

In my room in my bed, because it's where I sleep, and I like sleeping.

What is your greatest challenge now?
Finding a new way to study for tests.

-- Stay tuned for Part 2 --

Smackdown Sisters

The Rising Daughters™ are squarely in the Teenage Girl bracket now. The telltale signs are surging hormones, evident young womanhood, experimental makeup sessions, and helter-skelter moods. A side effect of this stage of life is…sibling rivalry and sister smackdown fights. I'm talking about psychological drama, people.

Lately, Lady E. and the M. often antagonize each other for various reasons. One cause of conflict is their diverging taste in music. The younger teen has developed a fondness for pop music choices heavily influenced by TikTok memes. The older, more urbane sister is obsessed with brooding Billie Eilish and Lana Del Ray tunes. Competing for airtime when we're together as a family creates some strife. Invariably, I invoke some form of democratic compromise in what music we all hear--and enforce it. The aftereffect of that is nasty words muttered with disdain between the sisters. Then everyone whips out individual smartphones, earphones inserted, and peace ensues. Everyone does their own thing. Sad, but at least it's music without rancor.

Another battleground is selecting what TV shows to watch. In bygone days the girls could enjoy some common shows, laughing at silly sitcoms with wholesome, PG-rated life lessons. My teens have detected that scam and their viewing preferences have evolved. The remote control has become a coveted prize, with both of them vying for dominance over the living room entertainment center. The remote control sparks more grousing and competing for screen time. Often a Parental Peacekeeping Force (PPF) will invoke a ceasefire and police the remote, and keep the two warring factions apart.

Same thing with clothes, which have provoked fashion fights. The Rising Daughters are almost the same size now. You'd think two closets would yield some sharing options. Yet closets are a minefield. Daughter #2 leans toward colorful and quirky ensembles, while Daughter #1 prefers a sophisticated and demure fashion sense. Yet they both tend to want to borrow my T-shirts and ratty old pullovers. Usually at the same time. Competition and scarcity equals danger.

Privacy is a foreign concept to Marina. Except when it's her privacy. She *had* a habit of barging into her older sister's room unannounced. Whether it's to "borrow" a favorite top without permission, or to seek a missing pair of socks, her disdain for boundaries sparks epic feuds. And many slammed doors. Preceded by sharp words and warnings, Lady E. counters with commando raids to get her clothes back when M. isn't there.

Food is sustenance, but snacks are more important than life. Both daughters have a stash of snacks we tolerate but try to moderate. In general, meals must be almost the same for each daughter. Otherwise, their sense of natural law triggers fierce cries of injustice such as "why does she get a bigger piece than me?" or "if she doesn't have to eat broccoli, then why do I?" Desserts, offered as a pleasant way to end a family meal, often devolve into low intensity invective. Who gets first pick at the dessert – which is usually the same treat – is coveted. Any minor difference in the size or appearance of the dessert creates strife.

Amid these frequent conflicts, their war of words usually holds a hidden undercurrent of affection. As adults and parents, we get annoyed, but we understand they are navigating the uncharted waters of teenage sisterhood. They will test boundaries, hopefully learn to coexist better while keeping their individuality, and find moments of connection during the chaos.
We hope.

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