Smackdown Sisters

The Rising Daughters™ are squarely in the Teenage Girl bracket now. The telltale signs are surging hormones, evident young womanhood, experimental makeup sessions, and helter-skelter moods. A side effect of this stage of life is…sibling rivalry and sister smackdown fights. I'm talking about psychological drama, people.

Lately, Lady E. and the M. often antagonize each other for various reasons. One cause of conflict is their diverging taste in music. The younger teen has developed a fondness for pop music choices heavily influenced by TikTok memes. The older, more urbane sister is obsessed with brooding Billie Eilish and Lana Del Ray tunes. Competing for airtime when we're together as a family creates some strife. Invariably, I invoke some form of democratic compromise in what music we all hear--and enforce it. The aftereffect of that is nasty words muttered with disdain between the sisters. Then everyone whips out individual smartphones, earphones inserted, and peace ensues. Everyone does their own thing. Sad, but at least it's music without rancor.

Another battleground is selecting what TV shows to watch. In bygone days the girls could enjoy some common shows, laughing at silly sitcoms with wholesome, PG-rated life lessons. My teens have detected that scam and their viewing preferences have evolved. The remote control has become a coveted prize, with both of them vying for dominance over the living room entertainment center. The remote control sparks more grousing and competing for screen time. Often a Parental Peacekeeping Force (PPF) will invoke a ceasefire and police the remote, and keep the two warring factions apart.

Same thing with clothes, which have provoked fashion fights. The Rising Daughters are almost the same size now. You'd think two closets would yield some sharing options. Yet closets are a minefield. Daughter #2 leans toward colorful and quirky ensembles, while Daughter #1 prefers a sophisticated and demure fashion sense. Yet they both tend to want to borrow my T-shirts and ratty old pullovers. Usually at the same time. Competition and scarcity equals danger.

Privacy is a foreign concept to Marina. Except when it's her privacy. She *had* a habit of barging into her older sister's room unannounced. Whether it's to "borrow" a favorite top without permission, or to seek a missing pair of socks, her disdain for boundaries sparks epic feuds. And many slammed doors. Preceded by sharp words and warnings, Lady E. counters with commando raids to get her clothes back when M. isn't there.

Food is sustenance, but snacks are more important than life. Both daughters have a stash of snacks we tolerate but try to moderate. In general, meals must be almost the same for each daughter. Otherwise, their sense of natural law triggers fierce cries of injustice such as "why does she get a bigger piece than me?" or "if she doesn't have to eat broccoli, then why do I?" Desserts, offered as a pleasant way to end a family meal, often devolve into low intensity invective. Who gets first pick at the dessert – which is usually the same treat – is coveted. Any minor difference in the size or appearance of the dessert creates strife.

Amid these frequent conflicts, their war of words usually holds a hidden undercurrent of affection. As adults and parents, we get annoyed, but we understand they are navigating the uncharted waters of teenage sisterhood. They will test boundaries, hopefully learn to coexist better while keeping their individuality, and find moments of connection during the chaos.
We hope.

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Scooting for sanity

When the pressure of everyday life gets too much, Naomi and I like to flee our familiar surroundings with a getaway drive on my 125cc scooter. It's liberating to drive wearing only a T-shirt and shorts, and with the wind in your face. When it's my turn to pick the destination, I prefer drives that take us to the ocean. Seaside motorvating offers soothing views of the sea and invigorating aromas.

This time our destination was the bottom part of the Miura Peninsula not far from our digs in Yokohama. We kicked off our adventure early in the morning, taking advantage of less traffic on the roads. Scooters are prohibited from using toll highways, so regular roads were our only choice. I set course southward through the cityscape. We made a pitstop near Oppama to refuel ourselves with a cup of coffee. Energized and ready to continue, we tooled along the coastal highway, with the occasional palm tree and pleasing views of Tokyo Bay.

Our plan to have lunch at a favorite hotel in Kannonzaki was foiled by renovations. That didn't dampen our spirits. Instead, we explored the nearby Kannonzaki Park. It's a former WWII-era naval fortress transformed into a park lined with pleasant green spaces and neatly maintained walking trails. The exercise did wonders for our sore behinds.

With appetites calling, we hopped back on the scooter and found a seaside café on Rt. 134. It was the perfect spot to savor both the flavors and the coastal semi-cheesy charm.

Continuing our mini adventure, we navigated the narrow roads on the lower part of the Miura Peninsula, passing by numerous vegetable farms. Driving the scooter in these bucolic surroundings was pure joy, with the salty air and refreshing breeze best savored at lower speeds.

Arriving at Jogashima, the southernmost point of the peninsula, we indulged in a leisurely stroll around the park, and couldn't resist venturing down to the rocky coastline. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore supplied a calming backdrop, allowing us to further relax and forget about weekday worries. With the Rising Daughters™ busy doing their own thing, it was nice downtime apart from the kids.

Reluctantly, we accepted it was time to embark on the 50 km journey back. As we zoomed along the roads homeward, I was happy thanks to the joy of sheer motion, and the time spent not thinking too much. Day trips like these are a reminder of how energizing it is to escape our regular lives for a few hours, without a schedule or even a real purpose except to wander around and share the experience with the ones we love.

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Pand-ended Part 2: Petering Out

The dreaded COVID-19 pox has not been completely beaten yet and has left us with unforgettable scars. The World Health Organization (WHO) said in March that it expects to declare an end to the COVID-19 pandemic sometime in 2023. As of March 2023, there have been 765 million confirmed cases and 6.9 million confirmed deaths worldwide. These are staggering numbers, but we don't see them in the news as often anymore.

Pandemic fatigue has set in. People have become complacent, accepting a certain number of deaths as a cost of returning to normal. Even in conservative and safety-conscious Japan, masks, social distancing, and frequent handwashing have become more and more relegated to the traumatic past that nobody seems willing to think over.

"It's an individual's choice now," we are told. For me, that boiled down to building up the courage to flaunt my maskless mug on trains along with a few independent souls willing to flaunt the majority still wearing masks. It was getting hotter on the Tokyo trains, and I found the masks to be too much. I eyed other "normal" looking office workers like me not wearing masks. No other people were showing their discomfort by leaving empty seats unoccupied, nor doling out the stink-eye of disapproval. I figured, why not try going maskless? And I haven't looked back. I am now both mask-less physically and mentally. And it feels good.

Progressively Pandexcellent re-entry process in Japan
One sign of social shifts underway in Japan is the official abandonment of any kind of border controls related to the virus. Starting on April 29, passengers arriving in Japan no longer had to provide proof of vaccination or negative test results, according to media reports, as the country braces for an influx of travelers during the Golden Week holidays.

This progress took time. The re-entry process for me at Haneda Airport in February 2023 took less than an hour, a significant improvement from the convoluted testing and confirmation process that took hours in April 2022. International travel was enough of a hassle in the "early COVID" era, with visa applications, baggage rules, and the other umpteen logistical arrangements to consider. Then came the COVID tests, the border restrictions, and QR code apps that varied across countries. Untangling the rules cost untold hours scrutinizing endless pages of travel guidelines on the websites of foreign embassies. But now, in Japan, a super-simplified immigration re-entry system has evolved with the diminished viral threat.

Where are we now? We can travel. We can party. We can try and pretend the last three years never happened. But COVID-19 turned social norms upside down for three years, and there will be lingering effects. I'm hopeful that the long-term effects of the pandemic will be piddling even as we learn valuable lessons from this terrible ordeal.

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Pand-ended Part 1: Three Years Later

Courtesy of ABC News

It's been three years since the World Health Organization declared the COVID-19 virus a pandemic. An epidemic became a pandemic. These days in Japan it feels like the virus is no longer a threat even as the country's innately cautious culture loosens up. Still, we shouldn't forget how traumatic the past three years have been on the world.

It's important to remember that emotions don't always align with facts or objective reasoning. Feelings are not based on facts or truths. When the pandemic started, I remember my workplace was indecisive and unprepared. In March 2020, countries implemented travel and re-entry restrictions to prevent the spread of the coronavirus. Yet, the Rising Family™ decided to go to Cancun, Mexico, on our vacation. We rolled the dice. It made sense, to us, at the time. We had good times. Hindsight is 20-20. We were very lucky.

What astounds me the most is how quickly world society normalized a virus that killed nearly 7 million people in three years. Ultimately, the pandemic taught us that even in the face of a deadly pandemic, people adjusted. They faced down and accepted the very real threat of death that was outside of their control.

So far, I've received four vaccines. I walk around without a mask, uncowed by the slight chance of being infected, yet respectful of others. The vast majority of Japanese people are still wearing masks in enclosed spaces. There are lingering fears of catching COVID. Masks also help folks avoid the dreaded spring pollen allergies.

As official restrictions have lifted, self-imposed mental restrictions slowly melt away. To wit: media coverage has focused on foreign tourists returning. It's interesting to see unmasked foreign tourists in downtown Tokyo greatly outnumbered by masked locals. The Japanese government has signaled it is back to business by opening up the country again without restrictions or medical checks at border entry points. Cherry blossoms bloom. Spring brings new hope for "normalcy."

It's tempting to move on from the pandemic and willfully forget about it. But we must remember the impact the pandemic had on our lives, including grief, lifestyle changes, and social adjustments.

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The Kids Are Alright

Credit: Polydor Records

The above-mentioned hit song by The Who from 1965 had a deeper social meaning than the title implies. The pop tune morphed into a catch phrase, a pithy way to describe young people by older generations in the late 1960s. I chose it as the title for this post because it jibes with my opinions on the early musical tendencies of my Rising Daughters™-- and their budding interest in music.

One sign that Lady E. and the M. are developing their own distinct musical tastes is the fighting about whose smartphone gets connected to our car's Bluetooth and thus dictates what everyone hears when driving. When the sniping about whose music is best degenerates into insults I call time out and put on my 90s grunge. But we still try to be democratic about it. I think it's healthy that our daughters detest my music. Generational rebellion and clashes about music seem to be natural. And it is the foundation of the rock and roll spirit, am I right?

In February, Elena went with a friend to her first concert featuring singer/songwriter Conan Gray. An American with Japanese roots (his mom is Japanese), he got his start in TikTok and YouTube. That makes him completely invisible to this GenXer and a magnet for contemporary GenZ teens. Elena had a great time at the concert. She made a signboard that concertgoers all wave in unison at different times during the concerts. Elena missed Billie Eilish when she toured through Tokyo, but Conan was too cute, and the ticket too affordable, to pass up. Elena has started her live concert journey.

Marina is still figuring out her musical self. She has an MP3 player gifted from her grandpa. And she’ll murder me for writing this, but I believe she takes her cues from her older sis and samples whatever Lady E is listening to. I then download the songs that Marina likes. Her peer influences come from TikTok spin doctors and the brands they push, rather than word-of-mouth. Naomi prefers to keep her music and life under wraps. I mention this in passing in case anyone wonders why there is rarely content about Naomi. I am under strict orders, people.

Now, my turn. Let me tell you about my three decades of The Pixies. If you’re a fan of the band, great. If you have no idea who they are, it matters not, because what’s relevant is the symbolism of their ongoing new music offerings and me still following them in my non-mellow, late middle age. The backstory is I’ve been listening to the Pixies since the early 1990s. I immediately loved their stark guitars and bizarre, spacey lyrics. I remain a fan. That’s why I decided to go by myself to a Pixies concert last November. I have all their albums -- even the less popular ones of the last few years – and enjoyed the live concerts I’d seen in Hiroshima and Nashville. With the Pixies, there’s minimal banter between songs, they hammer out their catalogue with little deviation from the original song, and there’s usually no encore. It’s all business with Black Francis and the Pixies. I like that—no ingratiating themselves with the audience, take it or leave it.

I went for the music, not the happening. As it turned out, upon reaching the venue in Tokyo I bumped into an old colleague and his friend and enjoyed a fluky night of laughs and great music. Third time I’d seen the Pixies live; third time lucky. The band didn’t disappoint compared to the halcyon days of my youth. We have aged, yes, but the power and the aggression are still there. Thus, three great decades of the Pixies, a band I’ve been listening to my entire adult life. Who knows, maybe there will be a fourth time? Fingers crossed.

"Rock 'n' roll is a participatory sport. It ain't passive. It ain't TV. Go out there and rock 'n' roll and dance and have fun." - Steven Van Zandt.

###

2022 in review

What's important about thinking through the previous year is grasping for perspective. 2022 had the usual gamut of distressing events. The war in Ukraine and violence in the news every day. Growing inflationary pressure and talk of recession. Energy scarcity fears. Omnipresent (and justifiable) gloom over climate change. The positive flipside? Last year, scientists also explained for the first time what sparked the formation of stars in the Milky Way. The Middle East hosted the FIFA World Cup for the first time, and it was peaceful and deemed a success. Babies were born. People still smiled. Let me repeat—it is about gaining perspective.

The same notion applied to the events that transpired this year involving the Rising Family™. A few lows, lots o' highs. The COVID pandemic persisted and stayed a factor in daily life. Yet, we adapted like everyone else. We even managed to travel as a family unit a few times. Lady E. graduated junior high school. M. started playing basketball on a team. Life went on, as it does, and we scooped our fair share of happy moments and evaded severe problems.

What follows are the images and the scribblings that capture the year that was 2022.


January
On her birthday, Elena was photobombed by her sister.
I like the colorful pagoda in the courtyard of this über-normal mall.


February
I get together with a group of "old boys" for day hikes in and around the Tokyo area. Just good old fashioned trash talking, moderately challenging hikes, and kickass fresh air and views.
Yes, that's Mt. Fuji in the background.


March
Here's Marina showing her displeasure with the arduous task of homework.

April
Elena on her junior high school graduation day. Due to COVID restrictions on group gatherings, only one family guest could attend. That was Naomi.

Credit: Impress.co.jp

May
Our girls are growing up and family outings to "kids' places" are fewer and fewer. But we can still take in a movie together from time-to-time. Tom Cruise flicks are a no-brainer. Here's a Japanese promo poster for "Top Gun: Maverick".


June
"When Harry Met Sally" 

Meet our two resident hamsters, Leon (The Professional) and Mochiko.

July

Naomi and I occasionally take off on day trips without the Rising Daughters™. In this case, we drove to the Shasui Falls and Lake Yamanaka, not far from Mt. Fuji.


August
While visiting Hiroshima, we always go to Hamada beach for an ocean swim. It never disappoints!


September
Here's Marina playing basketball and hauling it down the court. I was pleased she finally let me watch her play. (Pre-teen parental embarrassment alert!)


October
The Wedding. We went to Canada to be part of my brother Steve-O's nuptials. The wedding ceremony and reception were wonderful. It was also nice to get some time on home ice after three years away.


November
Back in Nippon and the chill in the air says "Winter is Coming." We went to the Sagamiko Illumination Festival. It's a fiesta of Christmas lights and a nice ritual in the runup to Christmas.


December
We spent the Christmas holidays at home on staycation. Naomi and I did some urban exploring in Tokyo. This photo is from the famous Meji Shrine, which is dedicated to the deified spirits of Emperor Meiji and Empress Shoken. It's oasis of nature in the heart of Tokyo, and thousands visit this shrine after New Year's Day.

And to close, a word from our sponsor, Henry Rollins.

Courtesy of Flyfm.audio